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Archive for the ‘c/section’ Category

Some of you might remember this post. Well I never went to the 30 week appointment. I am having a very good pregnancy probably my most uneventful to date.

Anyway I notified hospital of me not coming to the 30 week appointment. Three weeks ago I got a letter saying ” we know you want a c/section at 41 weeks could you please tell us where you’d like your care” I thought that was a little odd, but was given an email address to use so I emailed them saying that was correct and I’d like my care to continue where it was. I never heard anything back.

Then due to living in a black hole, I got a voicemail from the supervisor of midwifes asking me to call. I did. She told me that I didn’t come to the 30 week appointment, Correct I said. Why? She asked. Erm lets see shall we…

There was no point. – I said

Right OK she replied.

So could we make another appointment for you to see the consultant at 36 weeks?

For some stupid, stupid reason at 5.30pm on a Friday night I said “yes”

Now over the weekend the phone call played over and over in my mind, there was a long chat about other things too. I was anxious as anything about this impending appointment and went on and on about it to my husband. Then Sunday came and I had made up my mind and I wasn’t going. Knowing full well the intentions of the appointment.

The intentions are in my eyes to convince me to have a c/section at 39 weeks. As I said in my previous post that isn’t going to happen. My babies come late. This one might not who know’s it might come at 38 weeks but that isn’t by choice right.

So Monday first thing I call the midwife and get her name wrong. Great start LOL

I tell her that I’m not going to come to the appointment. Oh by the way she said “bring a support person, you might need them” obviously it wasn’t going to be a supportive meeting for me.

Why have you decided that Nataliya?

Because, I said I am not having a cesarean at 39 weeks and I know exactly what that appointment is about it’s about bullying me into having my baby then.

In her words “Not really bullying, more persuading you to have the baby at 39 weeks”

So that was the intention of the meeting!

And then came the best bit, the lamest reasoning of all.

It’s just that you want to have your baby at 41 weeks and the problem is that the theatres are under going a refurbishment and really when you want to have your cesarean it doesn’t fit in.

Guess what lady. THAT is not my problem, THAT is YOUR problem. I pointed out I worked in a OR for 7 years and that I know slotting in people unless emergencies was hard. But I am not risking my baby’s health because it doesn’t fit in, and to be completly honest, I can’t believe that is the reason. The actual reason is, I am a stubborn informed woman and I won’t be bullied. And they don’t like that.

Informed, yes why you are Nataliya, in fact you are extremely well informed and understand the system well.” She said.

So it’s all tactics, it’s all about bullying women into things they don’t want, making them think this is the best thing for them, when in fact it’s actually about doing what the consultants want and making sure all their little boxes are ticked and their 25 year old policy is fulfilled. None of which is my problem, and it’s my human right to have my baby where and how I like. This isn’t to say if I had a obvious problem like a low laying placenta which I did have, but scans since have shown it’s moved. That I wouldn’t follow medical advice. I am not a DR and I respect DR’s who look after people and not themselves.

She said “I can see I can’t persuade you (there’s that word again) to have your baby at 39 weeks, so we shall talk at the end of your pregnancy at 40 weeks.

I pointed out that, the end of my pregnancy with my 2nd child ended at 42 weeks and that was only because I physically gave up and said cut him out!

So in all honesty the end of my pregnancy could be 42 weeks, and if she’d like to speak to the VBAC clinic that they would also confirm this and they didn’t have an issue when I spoke to them. And that pregnancies can go 2 weeks either side, so in fact 42 weeks is normal it’s just a lot of women don’t get that far, for various reasons.

I think by this point she was sick of me and said that she’d speak to me again later LOL

Why? Why does it have to be this way? Especially when everything is fine with me, Health wise and baby wise.

What ever I won’t be pregnant for ever, The baby will come out, he’ll probably be 15lbs and rip me front to back but it will be over 😀

On a quick side note

if you are pregnant and need support contact aims and also look up yahoo vbac support groups they are great 🙂

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Right now I have your attention please let me make a disclaimer. I am a fence sitter I do sometimes slope off to one side mostly the natural birth side.

This post comes about from a extremely brief conversation I had the other day with a woman.

Her words

“I’ll probably have a section this time, even though I didn’t with my first, just because it’s quicker and easier, you know”.

She in fact wasn’t even talking to me, but me, being me interrupted her and said.

Erm it’s not always quicker and speaking from experience of two very different c/sections not always easy”

“Oh, how come?”

“I nearly died with Eliza, had a massive haemorrhage and 4 hours of life saving surgery, Jerry I was in and out back in my room within an hour, it’s major surgery YOU KNOW”

Little bit of silence

“Well the consultant will tell me what I am doing, as I think it’s better to have a section”

Now I am all for choice, and really how one births their child isn’t my business. But I really hate, hate seeing and hearing women not making a choice for themselves. Its through lack of knowledge and 100% trust with the medical expert.

I hate how women think a c/section is a easy way out. Hey I have one planned for 41 weeks this time around so I am not against them, but I am terrified. I nearly DIED having Eliza I don’t think I can ever explain or get this through to women, when I talk about it, I am not embellishing a story of events I am spelling out facts, facts that surgery can go wrong and does quite frequently.

So when you make you choice, make sure it’s informed and make sure it’s you informing yourself.

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Tomorrow marks Eliza’s 4th Birthday. 4 YEARS I can’t believe I’ll have a 4 year old. I have a special day planned for her. No doubt or maybe not I am not sure, but next year she might be at school on her Birthday I want this to be special for her.

This picture is of her a few minutes after she was born. I was already on the slippery slope of trying to stay alive for her. I hadn’t even seen her at this point, she was taken from my womb into another room with Daddy.  And then brought back to me where I said Hello to her shortly followed by  “get her away from me I’m going to be sick, and I was and proceeded to be very sick. I remember my husband being forced out of the operating room.

I then felt utterly peaceful and closed my eyes the light was intensly bright and I couldn’t keep them open any longer. I felt so peaceful. I was thinking of nothing. I remember nothing from here on except that feeling of peace. What followed while unconcious was 4 hours of life saving operating. My uterus had torn on both sides as they took her out. I had a blood transfusion which saved my life.  Not to forget a head surgeon who had been called in, he was on his way home. The 3 surgeons there couldn’t stop my bleeding, I ended up having 4 surgeons working on me.

In recovery I was tired, still not even thinking about my husband or my daughter instead I lay there and thought how out of breath I was, it was around now I started to become more aware I was in fact totally alone with 1 nurse. I asked her why I could barely breath. She said “I’m not sure” I now was terrified as I felt like I was suffocating said “get a F’ing DR NOW” DR came VERY quickly and it was established I had an embolism on my lungs, this was sorted out very quickly I don’t remember how.

My husband burst into the recovery room at this point with a screaming child and was shouted at for coming to see me and told to leave. I again got LIVID and said he’s going no where and I haven’t even seen my baby yet. So they let him stay. he’d been crying he thought I was dead for 4 hours they told him “she’ll be up soon” never anything else, they gave him nothing to feed Eliza nothing at all not even a bassinet to put her in.

I stayed in hospital for 9 days 1 day in intensive care, where I knocked the nurses by refusing to have my baby brought to me when I was told and to rest. I demanded my baby stay with me all the time and that she be at a height I could reach her, if I needed help I’d call. Eliza and I slept a lot.

That was probably the last time I ever slept properly lol

Tomorrow 4 years in photo’s oh yes stayed tuned 😀

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This week I had agreed to see a consultant at the hospital I am expecting to use for my 3rd child.  I was apprehensive because of a few reasons.

Consultants are what I see as the guys who scare women into doing things they don’t want or they convince women who are not as informed as me into beliving they need to have caesareans.

My birth stories are on here, I was induced with Eliza and it all went quite pear shaped and I nearly died having a caesarean with her. When I was pregnant with Jeremiah, I almost gave myself a hernia fighting the system and the polices to get the care I needed in my own home for a planned VBAC homebirth. When I say I fought the system I truly did.

I wrote to the Chief executive of the hospital, I asked that I no longer receive phone calls as I was being bullied over the phone being told I was going to have a dead baby if I had a home birth and they wouldn’t support me at all, meaning unless I did what they said, then I was  on my own. Despite verbally pointing out they were not allowed to do this, I was told “it was their policy” I wrote my letters and got my in home care, and was granted my VBAC informed planned home birth.

I was still angry, not for myself so much as I had got what I asked for, I had tremendous support through a VBAC group and I had AIMS on my side. I was angry for all the women out there being builled into births they don’t want and them not knowing where to turn for support. I then wrote to Gordon Brown the British Prime minster to tell him, exactly what had happened to me, and how disappointed I was in the NHS system.

I got a letter back in a week of sending it to him!

See official letter head!

He had my letter passed on to the Department of Health who also responded quickly to apologise and stated there isn’t   enough support for women who want to home birth or the support at all that women have a right to choose.

I had been heard!

In the end I had Jeremiah by elective cesarean section at 42+ weeks. I had been into “false” labour a few times and I was having trouble walking and was pretending it was all OK when in fact I was crying my eyes out and was in so much discomfort I wanted him out. I had him the next day in a a Maternal assisted Cesarean section. Which thankfully went very well and it was amazing, hard to think that it can be but it was.

Coming back to this pregnancy I know what I want I want to have an elective cesarean at 41 weeks. My babies are late which means they are not ready to be born in my eyes. in that case having the baby at 41 weeks assures me it’s lungs will be fully matured and I won’t have a child starting school the week I am due. A toddler to look after and a newborn in a special care baby unit if they have their way which is to deliver my baby at 39 weeks. But should I go into labour before 41 weeks then I’d be having my baby (hopefully) VBA2C.

The consultant I met with had his scare tactics brush up and I had my facts. Instead of saying what I knew I kept my mouth shut and nodded and shook my head. He told me I was crazy to think I could labour as my body had never done so. I assume the 14 hours with Eliza didn’t count or the 2 hours I pushed. I pointed this out, he’d clearly not even read my notes. And he stumbled and said “oh er right well she was a big baby” Maybe she was just under 9lbs I was then told there was no way I could push a baby out if it was to be the size of my last baby 4.5 kilos as my pelvis is obviously to small and my babies don’t descend into it.

WHAT was this guy on?

I told him about the pelivc pain I’ve been having and said from what I’ve read I think it could be SPD. To which he said

Are you bleeding?

NO.

Then it is of no concern of mine talk to the midwifes.

I was then told I’d see him at 30 weeks. I said who will I see in-between? The midwifes he said. I said OK so do I make the appointment at reception? No you see the midwifes at your medical centre. Right no one had told me this at all so I in fact have not seen anyone in my pregnancy aside from my booking appointment.

I rang the medical centre when I got home and was told I wouldn’t be able to come in to see the midwifes until I was over 20 weeks and the first appointment over 20 weeks is 25 weeks. So I will not being seeing anyone for another 8 weeks it seems a little odd to me when in my previous pregnancies I’ve seen the midwifes every 4 weeks. Perhaps it’s my area, but I see no excuse or reason for it to be so long.

I am not a worrier and if I have a concern I’ll ring the maternity ward. But I just think they didn’t explain it well enough. If I hadn’t of asked I would of never known to ring the medical centre.

The thing that made me most angry out of the whole experience was the fact he flipped off the discomfort I am frequently in as “not his concern” when in fact he undertook an oath when he became a DR that he would do the best by himself towards his patients.

So I think you can probably see where I am going with all this. Be informed. Don’t let the big guys bully you. Follow your heart and your brain. Find support groups and remember things don’t always go the way you want them to, and you have to keep an open mind, number one BE INFORMED.

If you want to read my Birth stories they are in sub-pages on the ABOUT ME page.

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This week I had agreed to see a consultant at the hospital I am expecting to use for my 3rd child.  I was apprehensive because of a few reasons.

Consultants are what I see as the guys who scare women into doing things they don’t want or they convince women who are not as informed as me into beliving they need to have caesareans.

My birth stories are on here, I was induced with Eliza and it all went quite pear shaped and I nearly died having a caesarean with her. When I was pregnant with Jeremiah, I almost gave myself a hernia fighting the system and the polices to get the care I needed in my own home for a planned VBAC homebirth. When I say I fought the system I truly did.

I wrote to the Chief executive of the hospital, I asked that I no longer receive phone calls as I was being bullied over the phone being told I was going to have a dead baby if I had a home birth and they wouldn’t support me at all, meaning unless I did what they said, then I was  on my own. Despite verbally pointing out they were not allowed to do this, I was told “it was their policy” I wrote my letters and got my in home care, and was granted my VBAC informed planned home birth.

I was still angry, not for myself so much as I had got what I asked for, I had tremendous support through a VBAC group and I had AIMS on my side. I was angry for all the women out there being builled into births they don’t want and them not knowing where to turn for support. I then wrote to Gordon Brown the British Prime minster to tell him, exactly what had happened to me, and how disappointed I was in the NHS system.

I got a letter back in a week of sending it to him!

See official letter head!

He had my letter passed on to the Department of Health who also responded quickly to apologise and stated there isn’t   enough support for women who want to home birth or the support at all that women have a right to choose.

I had been heard!

In the end I had Jeremiah by elective cesarean section at 42+ weeks. I had been into “false” labour a few times and I was having trouble walking and was pretending it was all OK when in fact I was crying my eyes out and was in so much discomfort I wanted him out. I had him the next day in a a Maternal assisted Cesarean section. Which thankfully went very well and it was amazing, hard to think that it can be but it was.

Coming back to this pregnancy I know what I want I want to have an elective cesarean at 41 weeks. My babies are late which means they are not ready to be born in my eyes. in that case having the baby at 41 weeks assures me it’s lungs will be fully matured and I won’t have a child starting school the week I am due. A toddler to look after and a newborn in a special care baby unit if they have their way which is to deliver my baby at 39 weeks. But should I go into labour before 41 weeks then I’d be having my baby (hopefully) VBA2C.

The consultant I met with had his scare tactics brush up and I had my facts. Instead of saying what I knew I kept my mouth shut and nodded and shook my head. He told me I was crazy to think I could labour as my body had never done so. I assume the 14 hours with Eliza didn’t count or the 2 hours I pushed. I pointed this out, he’d clearly not even read my notes. And he stumbled and said “oh er right well she was a big baby” Maybe she was just under 9lbs I was then told there was no way I could push a baby out if it was to be the size of my last baby 4.5 kilos as my pelvis is obviously to small and my babies don’t descend into it.

WHAT was this guy on?

I told him about the pelivc pain I’ve been having and said from what I’ve read I think it could be SPD. To which he said

Are you bleeding?

NO.

Then it is of no concern of mine talk to the midwifes.

I was then told I’d see him at 30 weeks. I said who will I see in-between? The midwifes he said. I said OK so do I make the appointment at reception? No you see the midwifes at your medical centre. Right no one had told me this at all so I in fact have not seen anyone in my pregnancy aside from my booking appointment.

I rang the medical centre when I got home and was told I wouldn’t be able to come in to see the midwifes until I was over 20 weeks and the first appointment over 20 weeks is 25 weeks. So I will not being seeing anyone for another 8 weeks it seems a little odd to me when in my previous pregnancies I’ve seen the midwifes every 4 weeks. Perhaps it’s my area, but I see no excuse or reason for it to be so long.

I am not a worrier and if I have a concern I’ll ring the maternity ward. But I just think they didn’t explain it well enough. If I hadn’t of asked I would of never known to ring the medical centre.

The thing that made me most angry out of the whole experience was the fact he flipped off the discomfort I am frequently in as “not his concern” when in fact he undertook an oath when he became a DR that he would do the best by himself towards his patients.

So I think you can probably see where I am going with all this. Be informed. Don’t let the big guys bully you. Follow your heart and your brain. Find support groups and remember things don’t always go the way you want them to, and you have to keep an open mind, number one BE INFORMED.

If you want to read my Birth stories they are in sub-pages on the ABOUT ME page.

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Natural V Cesarean

It’s one of those topics that you are passionate about or you really don’t care or perhaps you are middle of the road.

For me I am kinda stuck in middle of the road – don’t care.

With Eliza I was Natural Birth all the way here I am labouring away

no drugs you know the type! The excitement of my first child meant at 7 days post dates I couldn’t wait and asked to be induced what followed was a long labour over 2 days, and a emergency cesarean and me nearly loosing my life.
Here I am going into theatre the look of utter devastation is so apparent. Tears stopped for this and started straight after

My 2nd child I planned a home-birth, I was refused by my hospital. Refused? I’m sorry are you the law? No you’re not and neither am I, but no one tells me how I shall birth my baby except me.

I fought hard I wrote letters to the Prime minster, I wrote to my local MP and I wrote to the Chief exc at the local hospital. I got replies from them all supporting me. I got my home care and I got my home-birth planning on the go.

at 40 weeks I was deemed “OVERDUE” I laughed and reminded the midwife that 40-42 weeks was “NORMAL” and that I wouldn’t consider myself overdue until I hit 42 weeks THANKS.

Except that by their dates I was 40 weeks by MY dates I was 41 weeks.

I approached 42 weeks (their dates) and really was quite over it, for 3 weeks I had, had pre-labour my birth pool had been filled 3 times, I had contacted friends telling them I was in labour, my waters even broke.

I was starting to get worried by my dates I was now 43 weeks and I was so sure of my dates I was HUGE I was having trouble walking, getting out of bed, I needed help with my shower, getting dressed, undressed I was crying daily and having contractions for hours on ends and I was also looking after my nearly 2 year old. I gave up and said you know what… cut him out.

I had my 2nd c/section and it was FANTASTIC amazing maternal assisted c/section went so well I was like, hell yes I’ll do this again, and again and again!!

But there is something else there, every time I read a birth story, every time I read a VBAC story a HBAC story. I think that could of been me Except once again I gave up and I said “F it c/section” I wasn’t patient.

My desire for a natural birth hasn’t left me, I doubt I’ll ever get one now, I’m not sure why I want to labour for hours on end and push a pineapple out of my vagina but I do.

And in the back of my mind is knowing exactly when your baby will be born, knowing the dates.

I’m just not one for uncertainty.

I wish I was more patient perhaps then I would be less disappointed in myself.

I would like to add that I don’t feel bad for my kids on their arrival into the world they are healthy and loving life, I just have selfish feelings of me and my body failing.

And I am sure many can relate to this.

But really it’s OK it’s OK there are MUCH more important thing to worry about like what the hell am I meant to do with all my window ornaments now my 2nd born is walking!!!

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Reflection 2008

This could be a long post you might want to get a drink 🙂

Jan – on the 18th Of Jan we found out we were expecting a baby boy, I almost burst out squealing with joy, Eliza looked at the screen and said “monkey” and then we rang Daddy and told him it was a boy monkey.

Feb – My 31st Birthday was the on the 2nd and a interesting one at that. A guy verbally abused me in a book store I ignored him he kept following me, then he made a smart arse comment saying I was nuts probably due to my condition (pregnant) I lunged for him and acted like a maniac and Unal dragged me away and told me to calm down, We called the cops but he was long gone, funnily enough I saw the guy a few weeks back and almost crapped my pants.

9th saw us in the hospital and Eliza with some god awful rash on her legs which spread to her entire body we were told to treat her as if it were scabies. But they were unsure it was horrible to touch and to look at but caused her no discomfort. We discovered the powers of Neem oil.

17th saw Unal buying me my new camera a Olympus E3 which is great and gets used daily.

For those who are easily irked don’t read on lol. I had major breast feeding aversion with Eliza and hated breastfeeding her from here on wards and even now am not to crash hot on it.

March– My Dad and his wife came over from Spain to visit us, and we had a great time with them Eliza enjoys their company very much!

I did a huge commercial shoot for a a lady called Susanna Wallis who was writing her book which is out now with her Felt designs in it. It was fun and a totally new experience being on location with lots of kids!

I had a huge bleed and was 30 weeks pregnant I told myself to cut down on being superwoman and rest and it stopped.

we assembled the cradle for the baby and washed all the blankets and clothes nothing like being prepared!

April – Eliza turned 2 years old and I could hardly believe she was 2, it seemed like only a few weeks before I was in shock at finding out I was close to 7 weeks pregnant with her.

She also started to sleep really badly and was spending most nights up and awake between 2-4am watching movies or playing with me or Unal laying on the sofa.

It was also the 1 year anniversary of my half brother Georges death, he died from Septicemia he was 14 years old. He had recently had a heart op one of many sadly. I never met him when he was up and about the first time I ever met him, he was wired up to 28 intubaters trying to keep him alive. I spoke to him on the phone a few times when I lived in Australia and that is something I am thankful for. I am sure he is creating havoc in heaven as I type!

May – 18th My waters leaked and contractions started and then NOTHING yes nada no baby. a week later Jeremiah was quiet and I was cramping V badly and the midwife came and said they were braxton hicks. Many people were worried about fluid levels. But my midwifes were happy and so was I so we left it. I was thinking how right my dates were (21st) and wrong the hospitals were (27th) little did I know he would stay in for another 3.5 weeks!

27th I was in “hard labour” Unal fills up the pool and we take a walk. I am having to breath through every single contraction and I am only comfy when on my knees and have my hands raised and my head between my arms and breathing and moaning.

NO BABY COMES

June – 6th I was very unhappy and could barely move and was wanting Jeremiah out of my body more than ever

10th I went to the hospital with Jen and Eliza and they popped on the trace I was contracting away like a fool, Jen’s eyes nearly fell out of her head and she looked like she might faint when she said “OMG NATALIYA YOU ARE CONTRACTING LIKE SERIOUSLY THESE ARE HUGE OFF THE SCALE CONTRACTIONS” I said I know it’s been going on for weeks. The nurse came back and said you are great candiate for VBAC we could break your waters. I said no thanks I’d like a c/section no way would I want a failed VBAC and another EMCS so book me in for an elective.

11th I was in the hospital at 8am with Unal, Eliza and Jen by my side my sister Lara came at 11 and Jen and her took acre of Eliza we went out for morning tea well they did I watched them as I couldn’t eat or drink! At 16.47 they pulled my son from me in an amazing maternal assisted c/section I was back in my private room 40 mins later no time in recovery laughing and passing my new offspring around. It was a magical, magical moment.

13th I came home and relaxed and my beautiful friends and neighbours looked after us in more ways than we ever expected.

July – was a blur!!!!

August – I ventured out and took some pictures of the animals at London Zoo and sent them to them, they were liked and taken into their photo bank to be used in the future.

I did lots of other things with Eliza but nothing major!

September 22nd I got horrific food poisoning and I lost close to 4 kilos over night I highly recommend it when trying to lose weight. Funny now – not then I haven’t eaten indian take away since!

We ventured to Brighton and spent the day on the beach and the pier and sat in lovely sun!!

October – Another month were we were busy but nothing major!

November – I didn’t go to Paris with my mummy friends I went to toys r Us instead I mean Paris – TRU really no different. right? Another time another year!

December A very recent occasion my Brother turned 40 on Christmas Day I find it weird that he is 40 it’s like he is always younger!

And that sums up some of the highlights, in between all that we have been going to so many classes with Eliza and Jeremiah and next year will be similar, except I’ll be doing classes too!

Happy new year to you all!

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